I couldn’t resist this. Sorry…
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
I worked as a pilot but eventually got grounded for taking off too much.
Then I tried teaching, but I couldn’t make the grade.
I spent a few years as a Psychiatrist, but everyone’s problems drove me crazy.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I was a pretty good eye doctor, but I could not stay focused on the job.
I worked a long time as a doctor. I gave it my best shot, but didn’t have enough patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; but it never touched my sole.
The Energizer Battery Company hired me, but then expected me to keep going, and going, and going…
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
Of course, I tried being a secretary, but it turned out not to be my type of work.
My years as an exterminator were pretty good, but I got tired of the rat race.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but I had no outlets on the weekends I was off.
I was a gardener for a while, but I didn’t grow with the job even though I was raking in the money.
My career as a comedian was a stand-up success, but the critics thought I was a big joke.
I even tried to become an astronaut, but I would often space out during training.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
I even tried working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
I trained to become a professional wild turkey caller, but my job got gobbled up by the recession.
Finally, I became a pastor and loved it. Unfortunately, I was transferred to a church in Berlin and became a German Shepherd.
Now I am retired but work part-time as a meteorologist because my joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service. I live in a retirement community where all my secrets are safe with my friends because they can’t remember them.
Hope you find a good job sooner than I did.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! (gobble gobble)