Thoughts from a doctor’s waiting room…

I am waiting for a scan to be taken to see if I am cancer free. I have been here in the waiting room for an hour and have consumed 2 large glasses of barium- yuck. This room is where it all started last April- a scan to show I had a mass. Now I will find out whether all the chemo and radiation and surgery have accomplished their work.

I feel very lonely even though I have a great support system, and my thoughts are restless with concern. I’m not afraid, but I am worried. On the one hand, I trust the Lord and know he has this in his control. On the other hand, I’m plagued by the thought “but what do I do if I’m not clear? Is it the beginning of the end? How do I break the news to the kids?”

Once again, I am not accomplishing anything by sitting here shoveling smoke like this except to make myself nervous and anxious. The Lord already knows the outcome and he will not leave me. “Father I consciously surrender myself into your living care. I trust in your plan for me and will not pull myself away from that plan. As a father has compassion upon his children so you have compassion upon those who fear you. And I do!”

Ok, they just called me to come and get scanned. Here goes…

Later in the evening:

I just received word from my oncologist that my scans were clear and my C19-9 antigen (a marker for cancer) was normal. The scans and blood test will be repeated in 3 months.

I feel a burden lifted, as if one of my teachers had just cancelled the final exam in a class where I didn’t understand the subject. I praise the God of Grace who has given me relief, undeserving as I am. It was God’s will to call one of my friends home to himself this past weekend, while it was his will to give me an extension. “Who has known the mind of the Lord or who has been his counselor?”

I just WhatsApp ‘d all my kids with the news and am going to bed now to receive another gift from God- sleep. “He gives to his beloved sleep.” Thank you Lord!

4 thoughts on “Thoughts from a doctor’s waiting room…

  1. Brian Kiel

    My friend, it was Henry Ward Beecher who said, “The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” May every night bring a peaceful, serene sleep in which you awake like Jacob who, “‘awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.’” (Gen 28:16)

  2. Bruce Buchanan

    David, I came across your blog by accident today after following the link on Amazon that is associated with your book on Solomon Stoddard. I had been looking for some information on the Half-Way Covenant, and was surprised and very pleased to discover that the author of the book was someone I had known many years ago. I attended the church in Delmar when you were the Assistant (or Associate) pastor there with Art Gay. I am a pastor now in Cortland, NY. I have also had an experience with (colon) cancer and I can identify with many of your comments. I share your disgust with those barium smoothies! I haven’t contributed to my blog recently, but I was adding to it regularly while I was going through the process of surgery and chemotherapy. I am thankful that the Lord has brought me through the treatment and chemo regimen, and in January, 2018 I reached the five year marker of being cancer-free. May God give you and Gloria grace and opportunities to minister for Him in coming days, whatever His will for you may be.

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