Of Pigs and Pee…

There are a lot of strange laws in the world today that reflect what some people have taken very seriously at one time or another. For example, in Victoria Australia, only a licensed electrician is allowed to change a light bulb. (I’m going to ask my Aussie family to confirm this.) I have also heard that in England there is a law against dying in the Houses of Parliament. (I wonder what they do with the offender?)

Apparently, in France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon. (I think that was the name of the pig in Orwell’s “Animal Farm.”) There is also one I heard about when I was in Switzerland; it is against the law for men to urinate standing up after 10pm, which is the same time that it is illegal to flush the toilet. Upon further investigation I found these restraints were true only if you lived in an apartment complex. (So I guess there is no such thing as the “pee patrol” in Switzerland.)

Since we are on the subject: after sanding the hardwood floors of our home many years ago, I was in the process of coating them with polyurethane when the phone rang. I asked my youngest daughter (about 8 yrs. old at the time) to answer it and ask if I could call back later. She did so by saying, “My dad can’t come to the phone right now because he is “polyurinating” the floor. Can he call you back?” (I never did find out who called because I was too busy laughing.)

Ok, we are on a roll here, so let me inform you about an incredible victory for men’s rights that I read about in a recent news report over Reuters wire service: “A German court ruled in favour of mens’ right to pee standing up…, after a landlord tried to retain part of a tenant’s 3,000 euro (2,298 pounds) deposit for allegedly damaging the marble floor of a toilet by sprinkling it with urine.”

The debate about whether men should stand or sit is no laughing matter in Germany, where some toilets have red traffic-style signs forbidding the standing position. In response, the Germans have developed a derogatory term for men who sit and pee – “Sitzpinkler” – which implies that it is not masculine behavior. (I hope you are not laughing at this)

We could actually biblically defend “anti-sitzpinklerism.” Did you know that in both 1 Samuel 25:22 and 1 Kings 14:10, the word translated as “male” in our English text literally means “one who pees against a wall”? (Check it out in the KJV for a more crass idiomatic expression.)

Where am I going with this? I have no idea. I guess it just goes to show you that some people can get riled up and moralistic about some pretty insignificant things – kind of like the New England Patriot’s “deflategate.”

However, there is one important thing to remember about what I’ve said — guys put the seat up!

5 thoughts on “Of Pigs and Pee…

  1. Dave – Apparently the folks at Dartmouth have been readings your blogs. The WSJ reported yesterday that Dartmouth is clamping down on drinking at its fraternities. The colleg is finally taking some action for a problem that’s been around for a long time! So, “in loco parentis” is being given another try. FReedom isn’t freedom if it has disastrous consequences.

  2. Deborah

    Dave, here it is Valentines Day and I’m catching up on old email (ought to be a law against that). So I come across this message of yours. All I can say is, “If you were a priest, I’d think you had just a little too much of the communion wine!”. 🙂

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